Eight Lives Left

I try very hard to be good.

{Verse 1}
When I was younger
I saw my daddy cry
And curse at the wind
He broke his own heart
And I watched
As he tried to reassemble it
And my momma swore that
She would never let herself forget
And that was the day that I promised
I’d never sing of love
If it does not exist

But darlin’

{Chorus}
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception

{Verse 2}
Maybe I know, somewhere
Deep in my soul
That love never lasts
And we’ve got to find other ways
To make it alone
Or keep a straight face
And I’ve always lived like this
Keeping a comfortable, distance
And up until now
I had sworn to myself that I’m content
With loneliness
Because none of it was ever worth the risk

{Chorus}
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception

{Bridge}
I’ve got a tight grip on reality, but I can’t
Let go of what’s in front of me here
I know you’re leaving in the morning, when you wake up
Leave me with some kind of proof it’s not a dream

{Chorus}
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
[X2]

And I’m on my way to believing
Oh, and I’m on my way to believing

Here are some pictures I uploaded to my Snapfish account.

It’s a short film concerning DID and it seems to me that it buys into a lot of the stereotypes.

But I’m sure that doesn’t surprise anyone who reads here.

Things are going as well as can be expected. The wake happened tonight and went as well as these things can. Tomorrow is the funeral and then there’s a couple of days to relax and recover before I fly home.

Somehow I managed to scrape the heck out of my hand while in the shower this morning. There’s no antibiotic cream so I just put a bandaid on it. It’s a little red but mostly just sore. It’s on the base of my thumb which is not a good spot for a scrape. I keep banging it into things!

Missing kitties and L/L, but things are well overall. Nighttime meds got taken and it’ll be bedtime soon. I have to get up early in the morning, blargh. Sleep is good!

I hope everyone is doing well!

I’m doing some unexpected travel this week, and I’m trying to get everything ready before the taxi comes at 7pm. I’ve got clothes and toiletries and shoes and whatnot all packed, and I have the power cords for my cell phone and my kindle and my iPod. I’ve got my work laptop packed along with the power cord and mouse and VPN remote and my work notebook. I’ve contacted work and spoken to my boss and to my main coworker, and sent out an email detailing everything that’s going on this week and what needs to be covered and how to contact me if there’s an emergency. I’ll log on during the week when/if I can, but work isn’t going to be the focus so we’ll just have to see how that goes.

The kitty sitter has been scheduled, and I’m having a guest this coming weekend so I had to contact her and let her know I won’t be around. She has a key so that’s fine, but I wanted to make sure she knew I was out of town. I washed clothes and put them up, and made up my bed so it will be all nice for me when I get home. I contacted the Community Services Board to let them know I was going to miss the Strategic Planning meeting on Tuesday morning. I’ll give her a call when I get back and we can have lunch to go over what I missed and what responsibilities I have.

The house is cluttered but I can’t really help that right now. It’s not awful by any means, so I’m comfortable with people seeing it while I’m not here. I have to start a list of things that need to get done because they didn’t get done in 2009. First off – put together that damned filing cabinet that’s been sitting on my living room floor in pieces for the past six months!

This is the first time I’ve ever flown JetBlue. I’m kinda looking forward to it.

2009 will end in a few days, and I, for one, cannot wait for it to be over. The first 8 months were fine, but the last bit sucked horribly.

1) Beloved kitty died
2) Dead kitty bills
3) Car wreck that was my fault
4) Swine flu, followed by massive sinus infection
5) Layoffs at work, including two people whom I really liked
6) Night spent in hospital thinking I was having a heart attack when really it was a combination of stress-induced acid reflux and stress-induced panic
7) And just now I walked out to go to my psych to get more lovely tranquilizers, and discovered I had a very very incredibly flat tire

The tow truck picked my Jeep up and is bringing it to my mechanic for various things that I am sure will be expensive (tires, brakes checked, oil change, general go-over that hasn’t been done since the accident). Also I haven’t been sleeping well and the nightmares have returned.

So overall I’m a bit grumpy, very much out of oomph, and really frickin’ sick of 2009.

2010 has got to be better.

(You you you you you…)
You haven’t seen the world outside for days.
You sleep,
You hope,
You wait.
Imagination disappears and all the dreams you have,
You save.
Confrontation like a mirror they try to take your mind… away.

(Hey hey)
I don’t know, but I believe in yesterday
And what it means to bleed
And know that you’re okay.
(Are you waiting?)
No matter what you say,
No matter what you do,
No matter what I’m always right there behind you.
No matter what you say,
No matter what you do,
No matter what I’m always right there behind you.

(You you you you you…)
Bombarded by the atmosphere
You breathe,
You choke,
You breathe, again.
Conversation disappears,
You realize they’re not your friends.
The panic of the future rears.
You dig,
You jerk,
You find another way.

(Hey hey)
I don’t know, but I believe in yesterday
And what it means to bleed
And know that you’re okay.

(Are you waiting?)
No matter what you say,
No matter what you do,
No matter what I’m always right there behind you.
No matter what you say,
No matter what you do,
No matter what I’m always right there behind you.

You opened up my veins,
No I don’t feel the same. (no no no)
You opened up my brain,
But I won’t be replaced. (no no no)

(X4)
No matter what you say,
No matter what you do,
No matter what I’m always right there behind you.