I had a pretty bad night last night, between nightmares and insomnia. My alarm had just gone off and I was trying to get myself woken up when the phone rang. It was Delane& calling to check on me and give me a pep talk, something I sorely needed. It was comforting to think that at least one person had been paying enough attention to know that things weren’t kosher on this end, and then cared enough to call and find out what the story was and actually be helpful about it without being pushy or overwhelming. It made facing the rest of the day much much easier, and I am grateful. Delane&, you guys rock and I’m glad you’re my friends.
I had a meltdown on Monday, so I actually had missed a day and a half of work this week (Monday afternoon and all day Tuesday). I wasn’t sure how I’d be feeling for today, but the pep talk helped and so I managed to put in a good day’s work and even went to the data center to take care of some things for a couple of coworkers. Tomorrow I’m going to start work at 5:30am in order to help out another coworker with some software installs, and then I’m going to the dentist and taking the rest of the day off to actually be productive with personal stuff, and not a big ol’ self-pityin’ slob.
I actually felt halfway together today, and it’s been a really long time since I’ve felt like that, since the second week of January or so I guess. The whole year’s been a bit of a wash so far, but there’s still plenty left to go so that’s ok.
I had planned to go to California for this coming weekend to meet a friend, but that didn’t work out, and I guess I kept thinking “Well, I must be free that weekend” because now I have three engagements, and something’s got to give. I seem to have simultaneously promised to go to the Global Blogger Meetup, meet Chorus in Pennsylvania, and have my sister and niece and nephew over to spend the night for one of our family sleepovers. Gah. Luckily my sister emailed this afternoon to cancel the sleepover, but she wants to see me Sunday, and I had just decided that I’d do the GBM on Saturday night and drive to PA on Sunday to hang out with Chorus. I’ll just have to tell my sister that I’m incredibly popular and she’ll have to wait her turn. Ha.
So the plan for tomorrow is to work four hours, go to the dentist, and then spend some time taking care of myself (meaning a pedicure and a haircut and cleaning up the apartment and all the little stuff that just hasn’t been happening for a while), and then driving my nephew home from his school. Friday is work and then picking up John B. from the airport (he’s coming for the Global Blogger Meetup from AUSTRALIA!) and driving him to Silver Spring and hanging out with him and VUBOQ for a bit. Saturday will be baking dessert for the first event of the GBM, which is a Vodka and Dessert party. I haven’t decided what dessert I’m going to do yet. Sunday will be driving up to PA to hang out with Chorus while they work the bead show, and Sunday night will be absolutely collapsing, I’m sure. This is far more than I usually schedule, but obviously I got confused about what I could manage since California got canceled.
Of course there will be many other GBM events going on, but I’m not sure how many I can manage. I’m looking forward to Saturday night, though.
I’m going to try and get back to updating regularly in this journal and not let the stress get me so down. I’ve been through a lot of hard things. I think I’m pretty strong.