Eight Lives Left

Today was a long day. I started work at 5am to get a head start on an upgrade, but things quickly went pear-shaped, mostly because Systems Engineering didn’t do their job correctly. Then I fucked something up (and fixed it right away) but it was fucked up long enough to have an effect so I had to deal with the fall-out from that. Then the stupid work table FINALLY showed up, but the cardboard it was in was full of holes and banged up and when I opened it, the table top had three or four gouges into the plastic. So I had to call Amazon and request a refund, and then call FedEx to pick the package back up (they’ll come tomorrow), and just hope that I get my money from Amazon. Still no office for me.

On top of all that my coworkers all wanted to talk about the guy who killed his kids. Blargh.

I’m supposed to game tonight, but I’m thinking I might just climb into bed with a book and kitties and call it a day.

It sucks that I don’t really have anyone to talk with about what happened. I’m feeling a little freaked out that someone I almost dated, someone I lived with, someone I hugged and cared about (at least until he went nuts on me), would kill his kids like that. I knew he had anger management issues, but this is well beyond that. What is it about me that I attract people who are so very very fucked up? And is Lea right that we’ve moved on and are not in that place we were before, that place that attracts abusers? Because having two crazy people like that in our lives makes me feel very uncomfortable. It was bad enough that the ex-husband tried to kill his second wife and cut her face with a box knife and kidnapped his three-year old son. This is even worse. It’s sick. And I loved and cared about these people who ended up doing these sick sick things.

I am not feeling grounded today.